


Q vs Aston Martins

by Eclaircissement



Category: James Bond (Craig movies), James Bond - All Media Types, Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: 009 is Sherlock Holmes, Gen, I absolutely cringed, I am too lazy to tag, I'm not sorry, M/M, Q branch rebels, Q is fed up, This why we can't have nice things, oh god why did i write this, this purely crack speculation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-31
Updated: 2019-08-31
Packaged: 2020-10-04 05:01:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20465417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eclaircissement/pseuds/Eclaircissement
Summary: Q could only stare at the wreckage of an Aston Martin. At this rate 009 is never going get the Aston Martin for his missions.





	Q vs Aston Martins

**Author's Note:**

> This is crack. My mind was depraved of sleep. So read if you dare. More notes towards the end. Nothing was harmed except for aston martins.

It went like this. Q was working in the lab trying to solve a problem. He was trying to reconcile fact from fiction at how his minions blew up an Aston Martin for 009 because at this rate 009 wasn’t ever going to get a car at all. 

It was third time this month —granted 009 is usually a dick. Then again 009 was a bigger arsehole then when he was a consulting detective. He was also his highly functioning sociopath of a brother. One bloody Sherlock Holmes.

Q sighed and pinched himself for good measure because why did Mycroft have to hide Sherlock as a double-O agent. Dammit. 

Q pouted and crossed his arm, because this is his domain and screw whatever Moneypenny said that he looked like some kind of faerie that’s too cute to be kidnapped, because he was plenty kidnappable! Thank you very much. 

Also why the bloody hell, is he entertaining the thought of being kidnapped. He blames the previous 007 for that and lack of Earl Grey. 

It was not even more possible, at this rate Q was going to have a receding hair line as he continuously stare at the wreck of the Aston Martin. 

Yes Sherlock is a capable double 009, but he’s more of a menace than Bond. It was at times like this between the lull of Q-branch and his privacy office that he missed that man. It wasn’t surprise to him or to any minions who worked and outfitted the cars, that he didn’t resist giving Bond the DB10. Nope. 009 deserved it. And it was not because he was in love with 007 and thought they would ride into the sunset together, Mycroft. 

Of course Q had to deal with Sherlock bitching at him and fingers pointed squarely at his chest because some misplaced feelings for that man. Well Q, didn’t feel at all sad or subsequently nice that day because contrary to what Sherlock said —He does not have feelings for that man. Not one bit. Dammit Moneypenny. He was the bloody Quartermaster, it’s not a surprise that double-O program was full of menaces. 

Although, he was sincerely happy then he ever had been with the current 007. At least she can bring her equipment back in and completes her missions without an explosion or billion pounds down the drain. Nope he was quite happy with his life. He has his two cats and his mortgage. And he is damn happy despite what anyone says. 

And he absolutely does not for one second miss Bond. He angrily glared at the wreckage. 

But it won’t all solve all his problems, so Q got to work. Once he organized what was salvaged and what should be replaced. He started to compile the list of things he need to buy and what should be done with R for today. Since today was supposed to be his day off. And not a day where he had to curtailed his minions’ rebellious destructive tantrum against Sherlock and after rebuilding the third for honest to god damn last time of his Aston Martin. Yes Sherlock is a prick, but why couldn’t Sherlock stop terrorizing his minions out of boredom since he’s legally dead. 

Q jammed his finger to send the email to R and Jonas, his car tech minion, as he slowly packed away his laptop into his bag and headed to the elevator to go home. 

Because this was all Sherlock’s fault and Bond, even his British government of a brother Mycroft. All this could easily be fixable before he even been Q, but no it had to start with an Aston Martin. Dammit 007 why can’t he bring his equipment properly! Because he knew that damn prick of a bastard can do it. At this rate he was going to ban Aston Martins. Oh wait, here Q paused, smiled evilly as the elevator descended to the back lot of MI6. Now that was not such a bad idea. 

And that’s how thanks to his minions, that Aston Martins were here by banned from production. 

_Dammit Moneypenny I’m not going through the five stages of grief! I wasn’t even with a relationship with that man. And stop gossiping with Q-branch minions. There aren’t yours to overlord. This memo is for Q-branch members only. Not a gossip pin-up so you chat up with R! And M is not entertaining my request!_

**Author's Note:**

> Well, no more aston martins. Q is a riled up kitten. Everyone is mentioned. So, kudos, thoughts, opinions, hate comments, and on my general abysmal care for Q's temper and tags are all accepted.


End file.
